So Much Nothingness For So Long

i haven't had much to say.

Not exactly what someone with a blog...any sort of blog...vanilla or otherwise...should admit to.
And being away for so long...naughty, bad blogger.
Spank me.

And yet
Things seem to be turning around with the turn of the weather.

The job search is stagnant.
Resumes out and about.
No word back.

O is in the wind and i am glad for it.
He turned into a grade A, heartless SOB.

S.
Ah. S.
With some things He says, He makes me tell him "God save me from you being an ass."
Not a very submissive statement is it?!
He is a great guy. With brain farts.
Seems as if he is looking for a statement or sign that i want to break up with him.
Not so.
i would like more time with him.
i've told him so, often.
W/we've finally had sex.
It was great.
He took pictures of his cock in my mouth.
His cock in His cunt.
(i have fucked myself to the pics, with his permission, often)
i didn't cum.
He did.
Deep in my cunt.
It was in a safe window in my cycle.
He freaked a bit.
i finally have my period.
Thankfully.
Neither of us are ready for that step.
Will we ever be?
Don't know.

T.
Even with everything with S.
i am still hung up on T.
We haven't met...yet.
Coffee is planned before his next Canada trip.
Coffee were i go pantyless.
Last night...and right now...we had and are having the hottest im conversation i have ever experienced.
Even other ones with him haven't been this hot. This needy. This amazing.
i am a different person with T.
i let go completely.
No shame. No judgement for what i need. What i want.
The only problem?
i don't know if He is single.
i am a horrible person. But i can't stop. i don't want to stop.

So that is where i am.
my head is all over the place.
Same with my heart.

The latest

My 50th post. Confetti...horns...champagne...or just Wow.
Work has been crazy busy. I feel like i've been hit by a train. i don't go in until 5 and i need this lazy time.
As for my new search for a man, a Dom, Master, Daddy...it's going well.
i just made plans with D for Saturday. A drink, maybe dinner, maybe more. i will see what happens, play by ear. BET i am looking forward to being handled. commanded. used.
On a first meet...yeah, maybe that makes me a slut, but for right now...i'm good with that.
If i am not around tomorrow I would like to wish everyone a Happy, Blessed and Wonderful Thanksgiving!
For the service men and woman away from their families keeping us all safe and free...Thank you for your service, sacrifice and Bless you all.