Snow. Holy crap.
A foot and a half.
A shit load.
That kept me stranded at my brothers for the weekend.
It looked like the day before Christmas, not the day before Halloween outside.
i had fun up there, always do.
i don't travel with toys and never have contact with Him.
So when i get horny, frustrated and needy there is no where for me to go to relieve the pressure and want to cum.
Huh.
Now i am wondering why is it that i have been home since 2pm and have yet to fuck myself silly.
Oh. Yeah. No permission.
Damn.
Maybe i just add it to the list he seems to be keeping of things i need to be punished for when we finally are in the same room.
i believe that is exactly what i will do.
out comes the toy box!!
WooHoo!!
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Sick n Horny
Welcome cold and flu season. Now go away.
Thankfully it is just a cold.
Now, when i am not feeling well, whether it's a cold or period cramps, i do not get horny.
i want to curl up and sleep until i feel better.
Not this time.
i need to be filled.
Fucked.
i need to cum so badly.
my only outlet right now are my toys.
He is on a business trip.
i need cock.
Speaking of Him...He sent me a story. Maybe why i am so restless and needy...but it includes punishment for things i may not have told him...ummmm oops.
Sure, as my blog has detailed there are several things i have not told him...Damn.
i may not be able to sit after i finally see Him.
Thankfully it is just a cold.
Now, when i am not feeling well, whether it's a cold or period cramps, i do not get horny.
i want to curl up and sleep until i feel better.
Not this time.
i need to be filled.
Fucked.
i need to cum so badly.
my only outlet right now are my toys.
He is on a business trip.
i need cock.
Speaking of Him...He sent me a story. Maybe why i am so restless and needy...but it includes punishment for things i may not have told him...ummmm oops.
Sure, as my blog has detailed there are several things i have not told him...Damn.
i may not be able to sit after i finally see Him.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Noise
He broke the silence.
Called and sang happy birthday to me.
It was sweet.
Maybe too little too late.
We'll see.
In the meantime...i'm loving my weekend.
Called and sang happy birthday to me.
It was sweet.
Maybe too little too late.
We'll see.
In the meantime...i'm loving my weekend.
Friday, October 21, 2011
Silence
Silence can be loud.
It is in this case.
I refuse to let it bring me down.
This should be...NO...WILL be a fun weekend.
Party. Friends. Food. Drinks. Presents.
I will look at as his loss.
And it is.
It is in this case.
I refuse to let it bring me down.
This should be...NO...WILL be a fun weekend.
Party. Friends. Food. Drinks. Presents.
I will look at as his loss.
And it is.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Muses
She waits paitently for her Dom. her Daddy. her Master.
On her knees. in her heels. Stockings. Lace and silk.
Waiting on her love. Soon to be whole again.
His touch makes her feel that way.
Whether it is a caress or sharp spank to her bare ass.
It is her place.
His pleasure.
His needs and wants are hers to see to.
her pleasure and honor to see to.
Without his words, his touch, his presence she feels adrift, no center, no focus.
Waiting paitently for the door to open to see, feel, taste her Dom, her Daddy, her Master.
On her knees. in her heels. Stockings. Lace and silk.
Waiting on her love. Soon to be whole again.
His touch makes her feel that way.
Whether it is a caress or sharp spank to her bare ass.
It is her place.
His pleasure.
His needs and wants are hers to see to.
her pleasure and honor to see to.
Without his words, his touch, his presence she feels adrift, no center, no focus.
Waiting paitently for the door to open to see, feel, taste her Dom, her Daddy, her Master.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Quiet
i don't mind the quiet.
i can be by myself, i don't need to fill the stillness and quiet with noise or unnecessary conversation.
But this kind of quiet, i don't know what to do with.
Oh, there was a phone call.
A message left.
Funny thing was, i had turned my phone off.
The quiet phone was unnerving me.
i listened to the message.
Got shivers when he called me 'baby'.
Felt my pussy drip when i listened to him tell me how hard he was.
How he was thinking of me.
Jerking off.
Cumming.
For me.
Well, not for me. For my voice message.
And then it's quiet again.
Except for in my head.
The questions.
Non stop.
i wish it was quiet again.
i can be by myself, i don't need to fill the stillness and quiet with noise or unnecessary conversation.
But this kind of quiet, i don't know what to do with.
Oh, there was a phone call.
A message left.
Funny thing was, i had turned my phone off.
The quiet phone was unnerving me.
i listened to the message.
Got shivers when he called me 'baby'.
Felt my pussy drip when i listened to him tell me how hard he was.
How he was thinking of me.
Jerking off.
Cumming.
For me.
Well, not for me. For my voice message.
And then it's quiet again.
Except for in my head.
The questions.
Non stop.
i wish it was quiet again.
Monday, October 17, 2011
My day
my day was...uneventful.
i caught up on laundry, cleaning i didn't do this weekend.
Something was missing. He was missing.
Not one email or phone call.
With no words from him, i don't like how i feel.
i don't like how i think.
i question.
i reevaluate.
i haven't heard from him since Friday.
i don't like how i feel, or what i am thinking.
Not one bit.
i caught up on laundry, cleaning i didn't do this weekend.
Something was missing. He was missing.
Not one email or phone call.
With no words from him, i don't like how i feel.
i don't like how i think.
i question.
i reevaluate.
i haven't heard from him since Friday.
i don't like how i feel, or what i am thinking.
Not one bit.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Exhausted
Damn i'm tired.
Emotionally
Physically
Beat down.
Drained.
Did i get worn out by Him? No.
Did i run a marathon? Funny...no.
What did i do this weekend to warrant my aching bones. What did i do to have this inability to walk without pain?
i went to New York Comic Con.
Friday and Saturday spent walking, standing, waiting, people watching, shopping, discovering, jostling through crowded walkways filled with men and woman who really shouldn't wear skin tight body suits...did i mention people watching?
i am a geek at heart. i love all things star wars, some comics, a lot of video games, sci-fi...it was nerd mecca.
i had a hell of a great time, it was worth the massive discomfort i have right now...and will go again next year.
i'm only sorry i wasn't able to get there today...i took it as a sign when it took me five minutes to walk to the bathroom.
Emotionally
Physically
Beat down.
Drained.
Did i get worn out by Him? No.
Did i run a marathon? Funny...no.
What did i do this weekend to warrant my aching bones. What did i do to have this inability to walk without pain?
i went to New York Comic Con.
Friday and Saturday spent walking, standing, waiting, people watching, shopping, discovering, jostling through crowded walkways filled with men and woman who really shouldn't wear skin tight body suits...did i mention people watching?
i am a geek at heart. i love all things star wars, some comics, a lot of video games, sci-fi...it was nerd mecca.
i had a hell of a great time, it was worth the massive discomfort i have right now...and will go again next year.
i'm only sorry i wasn't able to get there today...i took it as a sign when it took me five minutes to walk to the bathroom.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Easy
Yes, i am.
Only for the right guy.
Sorry, tangent.
Why can't something be easy for a change?
i understand anything worth having is worth working hard for.
i am not afraid of hard work.
Never have been.
But just once i would like to not have it be so difficult.
To climb, claw and bust my ass.
i honestly don't know what to do.
Only for the right guy.
Sorry, tangent.
Why can't something be easy for a change?
i understand anything worth having is worth working hard for.
i am not afraid of hard work.
Never have been.
But just once i would like to not have it be so difficult.
To climb, claw and bust my ass.
i honestly don't know what to do.
On the hunt
Currently i am hanging around, waiting.
i don't want to get showered and dressed too soon.
i don't want to leave the house too early.
i have a job interview at 3.
i'm not nervous.
i have the same attitude each time...i get it, i get it. i don't, i don't.
keeps me calm.
sorta.
i don't want to get showered and dressed too soon.
i don't want to leave the house too early.
i have a job interview at 3.
i'm not nervous.
i have the same attitude each time...i get it, i get it. i don't, i don't.
keeps me calm.
sorta.
Wine
Wine...
While visiting my sister, it is necessary (espically when i can't find my xanax).
Wine...
Right now, and come the morning. SUCKS.
While visiting my sister, it is necessary (espically when i can't find my xanax).
Wine...
Right now, and come the morning. SUCKS.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Weekend
All in all, a good weekend.
Sports wise...well, not so much.
i played.
i've been very needy, very horny.
He knows i get this way a week before my period.
and boy am i ever.
i grabbed my plugs.
All of them.
The red one.
And the two new ones.
i was needing to cum. badly.
i didn't start small...oh, no. not me.
i started with the new black glass one.
i lubed it up and pushed.
hard.
i felt myself spreading.
but not enough.
so i quickly changed to the other new glass one.
my ass swallowed it quickly.
i needed more though.
so i pushed the glass out and rammed the red one in deep.
it may not be as thick, but it's longer.
Ahhhhh.
i rubbed my clit to a hell of an orgasm.
it was good.
not nearly enough.
but good for now.
Oh.
i did all this without permission...oops. ;)
Sports wise...well, not so much.
i played.
i've been very needy, very horny.
He knows i get this way a week before my period.
and boy am i ever.
i grabbed my plugs.
All of them.
The red one.
And the two new ones.
i was needing to cum. badly.
i didn't start small...oh, no. not me.
i started with the new black glass one.
i lubed it up and pushed.
hard.
i felt myself spreading.
but not enough.
so i quickly changed to the other new glass one.
my ass swallowed it quickly.
i needed more though.
so i pushed the glass out and rammed the red one in deep.
it may not be as thick, but it's longer.
Ahhhhh.
i rubbed my clit to a hell of an orgasm.
it was good.
not nearly enough.
but good for now.
Oh.
i did all this without permission...oops. ;)
Friday, October 7, 2011
Toys Pt. 4
After putting my new toys away in my toybox (stashed under the bed), i dressed and went about my day.
With my pussy dripping wet, and ass tingeling from being cleaned out.
It wasn't long before i was able to get away for some quiet time.
i stripped out of my clothing again.
grabbed my toybox, lube, a towel and made myself comfy in bed.
the unexplored new toys were the plugs and the vibe.
i got into my position, when alone anal is easier on my side to start...
i squeezed lube on my anus and some on the thich bulb of the plug.
i was a little scared. it is bigger then anything i have done to myself before.
but i heard his voice in my head, pushing me, directing me.
i lined the plug up and pushed.
oh. oh. my. ouch.
Oooooooo.
it took about 5 min of fucking, stretching, pushing until i felt my ass open and swallow the plug.
So. Fucking. Good.
i laid on my back, grinding my ass down into the bed.
Quickly grabbing the vibe, turning it on and pressing it directly on my clit.
i needed to be filled, so i didn't wait to fuck my cunt.
i plowed the viberator in deep.
Feeling the vibrations against the plug from inside me...well...was almost too much.
i pumped my hips up and down, each time grinding my ass harder into the bed.
i slammed the vibe in deep.
Closed my legs.
and ravaged my clit with my hand.
i fucked myself for a long time. denying myself. playing as my Master would have wanted me too.
In my mind i was begging to cum.
begging my Master to let me cum.
i closed my eyes. pinched my clit hard. heard Him say "Cum for me pet"
and i did. hard. long.
I was bucking, shaking for a long time after.
Cumming again when i pulled the vibe out.
It took a while to recover.
i laid there in a puddle of my cum.
my ass still filled.
i rolled back on my side, grasped the end of the plug, pulled a little as i pushed it from my body.
i am getting worked up and horny writing this.
i believe i will try out the last remaing toy...the bigger plug.
maybe that with the flogger.
That sounds like a wonderful idea.
With my pussy dripping wet, and ass tingeling from being cleaned out.
It wasn't long before i was able to get away for some quiet time.
i stripped out of my clothing again.
grabbed my toybox, lube, a towel and made myself comfy in bed.
the unexplored new toys were the plugs and the vibe.
i got into my position, when alone anal is easier on my side to start...
i squeezed lube on my anus and some on the thich bulb of the plug.
i was a little scared. it is bigger then anything i have done to myself before.
but i heard his voice in my head, pushing me, directing me.
i lined the plug up and pushed.
oh. oh. my. ouch.
Oooooooo.
it took about 5 min of fucking, stretching, pushing until i felt my ass open and swallow the plug.
So. Fucking. Good.
i laid on my back, grinding my ass down into the bed.
Quickly grabbing the vibe, turning it on and pressing it directly on my clit.
i needed to be filled, so i didn't wait to fuck my cunt.
i plowed the viberator in deep.
Feeling the vibrations against the plug from inside me...well...was almost too much.
i pumped my hips up and down, each time grinding my ass harder into the bed.
i slammed the vibe in deep.
Closed my legs.
and ravaged my clit with my hand.
i fucked myself for a long time. denying myself. playing as my Master would have wanted me too.
In my mind i was begging to cum.
begging my Master to let me cum.
i closed my eyes. pinched my clit hard. heard Him say "Cum for me pet"
and i did. hard. long.
I was bucking, shaking for a long time after.
Cumming again when i pulled the vibe out.
It took a while to recover.
i laid there in a puddle of my cum.
my ass still filled.
i rolled back on my side, grasped the end of the plug, pulled a little as i pushed it from my body.
i am getting worked up and horny writing this.
i believe i will try out the last remaing toy...the bigger plug.
maybe that with the flogger.
That sounds like a wonderful idea.
Toys Pt. 3
i love the UPS man.
He brings me things that make me scream, in pleasure, in pain.
Make me quiver, shiver and cum.
Add to that having the house to myself...well, i had a a hell of an afternoon.
i opened the box quickly...understatement...
Brought them out one by one.
Swirled glass butt plug. Shorter then what i have now, but wider.
Black glass butt plug. Wider then the swirled one.
Pink Evolved vibrator.
Thigh high stockings.
Bull nose nipple clamps.
and finally the black and red flogger.
Oops...well...ah hell...there was one other thing.
If i can't be honest and forth coming on my own blog, where can i be?
i got an anal douche.
Yup. so i can be squeaky clean for his use and for when i play with my plugs.
Wow.
i washed everything.
i stripped.
i picked up the clamps.
my nipples were already hard.
i attached one to my left nipple...and detached it quickly.
sharp pain. something i don't want to experience alone.
my next toy to try out was the flogger.
i am so curious about this...i softly whipped it against my arm. then my stomach. harder on my thigh.
harder still on my tits...a that point my knees went weak and i began to shake.
Instead of going for the vibe or plugs...i went for the anal douche.
i filled a cup with warm water.
filled the bulb, attached the sleeve to the tip.
Laid on my side.
Lubed my anus.
Lubed the tip.
And i pushed it all the way in.
And i squeezed.
And i LOVED it.
so much that i filled myself four more times.
i felt it in my ass. i felt it in my tummy.
Held it for as long as i could and expelled the water.
Pushing that in my ass, making myself hold it...i felt so very submissive and so fucking turned on.
This will have to be continued...unfortunately life gets in the way of play.
He brings me things that make me scream, in pleasure, in pain.
Make me quiver, shiver and cum.
Add to that having the house to myself...well, i had a a hell of an afternoon.
i opened the box quickly...understatement...
Brought them out one by one.
Swirled glass butt plug. Shorter then what i have now, but wider.
Black glass butt plug. Wider then the swirled one.
Pink Evolved vibrator.
Thigh high stockings.
Bull nose nipple clamps.
and finally the black and red flogger.
Oops...well...ah hell...there was one other thing.
If i can't be honest and forth coming on my own blog, where can i be?
i got an anal douche.
Yup. so i can be squeaky clean for his use and for when i play with my plugs.
Wow.
i washed everything.
i stripped.
i picked up the clamps.
my nipples were already hard.
i attached one to my left nipple...and detached it quickly.
sharp pain. something i don't want to experience alone.
my next toy to try out was the flogger.
i am so curious about this...i softly whipped it against my arm. then my stomach. harder on my thigh.
harder still on my tits...a that point my knees went weak and i began to shake.
Instead of going for the vibe or plugs...i went for the anal douche.
i filled a cup with warm water.
filled the bulb, attached the sleeve to the tip.
Laid on my side.
Lubed my anus.
Lubed the tip.
And i pushed it all the way in.
And i squeezed.
And i LOVED it.
so much that i filled myself four more times.
i felt it in my ass. i felt it in my tummy.
Held it for as long as i could and expelled the water.
Pushing that in my ass, making myself hold it...i felt so very submissive and so fucking turned on.
This will have to be continued...unfortunately life gets in the way of play.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Punished?
i paid for doubting.
Sorta...if you call non stop cumming, "punishment".
He used me, hard.
He tried to fuck the doubt out of me.
Reminding me how good W/we are together.
How no one else knows me like He does.
He is correct. No one knows the submissive side.
The kinky, nasty, naughty side of me.
What he doesn't realize is he can't give me what another man can.
There is a man out there that can give me the kink with a vanilla facade.
But.
For now.
i am reminded.
i am not doubting the lust. The passion. The need. His control.
Sorta...if you call non stop cumming, "punishment".
He used me, hard.
He tried to fuck the doubt out of me.
Reminding me how good W/we are together.
How no one else knows me like He does.
He is correct. No one knows the submissive side.
The kinky, nasty, naughty side of me.
What he doesn't realize is he can't give me what another man can.
There is a man out there that can give me the kink with a vanilla facade.
But.
For now.
i am reminded.
i am not doubting the lust. The passion. The need. His control.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Rest in Peace Steve Jobs
Vision, grace, humility, genius.
This planet is a better place because of your thoughts, inventions.
Thank you for your time here.
Heaven just got a lot smarter.
God Bless & Keep You Mr. Jobs.
This planet is a better place because of your thoughts, inventions.
Thank you for your time here.
Heaven just got a lot smarter.
God Bless & Keep You Mr. Jobs.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
New Toy
i love gadgets.
games.
i have several.
my favorite is my Kindle...i'm obsessed...bury it with me.
i'm an adult, but have a DS...love puzzle games.
i have an ipod.
Normally i am not much of an Apple girl.
but it's time to upgrade my phone...well, mine HAS been acting wonkey. Not just looking for an excuse to get a new toy. Well, not really.
So. i am faced with a question.
iPhone?
or the newest Droid?
Now...i am a huge Star Wars fan, Lucas (even with all his tinkering) can do no wrong in my mind and heart. So, when the Droid came out i was all over it.
With my latest upgrade, i am not so certain.
i've read reviews...i've researched.
And still i am unsure.
Any recommendations?
As for other kinds of toys...personal...adult toys...Well, i will be shopping for them tonight too.
Again...any recommendations?
games.
i have several.
my favorite is my Kindle...i'm obsessed...bury it with me.
i'm an adult, but have a DS...love puzzle games.
i have an ipod.
Normally i am not much of an Apple girl.
but it's time to upgrade my phone...well, mine HAS been acting wonkey. Not just looking for an excuse to get a new toy. Well, not really.
So. i am faced with a question.
iPhone?
or the newest Droid?
Now...i am a huge Star Wars fan, Lucas (even with all his tinkering) can do no wrong in my mind and heart. So, when the Droid came out i was all over it.
With my latest upgrade, i am not so certain.
i've read reviews...i've researched.
And still i am unsure.
Any recommendations?
As for other kinds of toys...personal...adult toys...Well, i will be shopping for them tonight too.
Again...any recommendations?
Monday, October 3, 2011
I still have faith.
i am a huge sports nut.
Football. (pro and college)
Baseball.
Hockey.
Soccer.
Lacrosse.
You name it, i would probably enjoy it.
Right now, i'm not enjoying my baseball so much.
i am watching one of my teams go down in the series...i hate best of five.
but i have faith.
Always have hope and faith.
Football. (pro and college)
Baseball.
Hockey.
Soccer.
Lacrosse.
You name it, i would probably enjoy it.
Right now, i'm not enjoying my baseball so much.
i am watching one of my teams go down in the series...i hate best of five.
but i have faith.
Always have hope and faith.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Answers
i asked.
i am physically unable to let something linger and fester.
And you know what? i'm better for it.
i know now.
Where i stand.
What to expect.
Am i happy with the response.
No.
i had hopes, i had expectations.
Both have been dashed.
But for now, i have fun. i enjoy. i take it for what it is.
All the while looking for what is best for ME and moving forward.
i will sleep better tonight.
i am physically unable to let something linger and fester.
And you know what? i'm better for it.
i know now.
Where i stand.
What to expect.
Am i happy with the response.
No.
i had hopes, i had expectations.
Both have been dashed.
But for now, i have fun. i enjoy. i take it for what it is.
All the while looking for what is best for ME and moving forward.
i will sleep better tonight.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
The Unknown
i am very big about saying what's on my mind.
i don't stew. i don't dwell. i don't fester.
on anything. It's not healthy.
Then why am i doing it now?
i am open, need communication, want and have to know where i stand.
This is with everything.
Not just relationships, but in everything.
When my heart and head are heavy i feel like i don't function well.
So i ask again...why am i doing it now?
i don't stew. i don't dwell. i don't fester.
on anything. It's not healthy.
Then why am i doing it now?
i am open, need communication, want and have to know where i stand.
This is with everything.
Not just relationships, but in everything.
When my heart and head are heavy i feel like i don't function well.
So i ask again...why am i doing it now?
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