Tears

i am not in a good way today.

i thought i was, despite the gray weather i was in a pretty good place
Mentally, emotionally.

Now.
i can't seem to stop crying.
And i fucking HATE to cry.

i got a text from someone, who is one of the bright lights in my life.
If i had brothers or sisters, she would be my niece.
Her Dad is the closest thing i have to a brother, to family other then my parents.
Her text made me see and feel like i don't mean as much to her and her family that they do to me.

Hence the tears.
The hurt that i just can't make go away.

Worse yet.
i have no one to talk to.

D is at work.
M is in the wind, again. (getting frustrated with him, another post)

So, on top of the hurt, i feel lonely.

Great. Sob, sad pity party.
Fuck. i hate that.