100

Over the past weeks it seemed like i wouldn't get here.
This is my 100th post.

i went for a while where i had nothing to say.

Nothing to say equals very little, to nothing to write.

Thank you for your patience.
Thank you for visiting.
Thank you for reading.

It is with that in mind that i will promise...
NOTE: i never break a promise
...to write here, often.

No matter what is or is not going on.
i won't bore you either.
i will be creative, i will be funny.

i will also be, heads up here, boring.
Whatever is going on in my head, heart will be here.

That is why i started this, and i got away from it.
No more.
Y'all will have something to read when you visit.
That's a promise.

Left Hanging

That is how i feel.

D and M.

Both conversations have come to a complete halt.
D, well, that doesn't bother me so much.
We hadn't talked long.
i have written him off.

But M.
We have talked every night.
Not missing a night.
A few hours conversation.
Not just about D/s/
Everything.
It was nice.
Beyond nice.
It felt good.

Then last night, i sent a remark, can't even tell you what it was.
No reply.
Nothing.
i am waiting online for him, even though i feel it that he's not coming back.
Ah well.

Concentration focused on ST.
Hope tomorrow goes well.
i need to relax, get beauty sleep.
Focus on the real world.
Not the world that goes on in the im box.

No matter how real and right that box of conversation felt.

Instructions

i was given instructions on how i am to dress for our meeting.

Skirt, stockings or pantyhose.
Ut Oh.

i don't own either.

He seemed thrown by that.
i said i would see what i could do.
i would like to do as he asked.
But
i can't purchase things.
i have been looking for a job, so i don't have money to spare.

i wouldn't have to just find the skirt and pantyhose.
But shoes to wear as well.
i am not a normal shoe female.
i detest shoe shopping.

He asked that i look like a woman.
Not in sweats.
i never leave the house that way.

i wonder what i will do.

Time Travel, Please

i hate this part.

Can't we figure out a way to fast forward through this?
Crystal ball?
Time machine maybe?

The unease.
The unknown.

i would really like to know without getting hurt.
Physically
Emotionally.

ST and i have moved on to phone conversation.
So far it's enjoyable.
Meeting is set for Tuesday at one of the bigger malls in the area.

M and i talk online every night.
i am unsure.
He doesn't give up much personal information.
Huge red flag.
If he opens up it could be a good thing.

D and i were chatting, but he left the conversation suddenly and hasn't responded since.
That has put him out of the picture.

i wonder if you can build a time machine out of a Jeep?
Oh, where is Doc Brown when you need him?!

Who's Who

Since being back on cm i have gotten messages and started conversations with several interesting men.

i am very curious about three.

M.
Lives in CT, but that's not too far away.
Have had a great im conversation with him.

ST.
i have his phone number.
Debating calling tonight

D.
i gave him my im.
i hope we chat soon.

The newest cast of characters.
i can't wait to see what happens next.

ANOTHER??

Is this too much now???!!!
Third post in a matter of minutes....

i am back on cm...right now in fact.

i am nervous jumping back into the deep end.
Without swimmies or other water rescue devices.

Ah well...swim or sink...so...swim it is.

CANNON BALL!!!!

New Toys

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Completely Done

i found my back bone.

S is completely history.
i am 100% fine with that.
He continued how he was, at the very least he is lazy.
At the most he really was uninterested in putting in any time or effort.

Pardon my mouth...but i just don't give a shit anymore.

i am submissive, but i do not and will not walk on egg shells.
i was doing that.
i feel the need to spank myself for that.

i wish you well S...but good riddance.

Battle scars

i am coming down from dinner at my sisters last night.

Holy crap.
Desert Storm was less explosive.

My sis and her live in boyfriend have a volatile relationship.

He has moved out before.
That lasted a month.

They were ok, getting along, not really fighting.
i say "not really" because my sis lives for drama.
me? Not so much.

Anyway.

Sitting at the dinner table and all hell breaks loose.
It was awkward.
Annoying.
Loud.
Wanting to leave, but not seeing an opening to do so.
Thankfully there was another friend there, to commiserate with.
After a bit we escaped to the living room.
Or as she said "neutral terroritory"
It was that until he wandered in to use her computer...That was until she turned off the power...
It was great...no.

She is unhappy.
Very much so.
i told her to kick his ass out. Change the locks. Don't look back.

She needs to make herself and her boys the priority.

Will she do this?
Who knows.

He left for work.
Texted the rest of the night to say he was sorry.
That is a weak, pissant, douche bag play.

i will have a list of conversations that should NEVER be texted in a later post, but for now...
I'm sorry for the screaming and making you cry, should never be in the form of a text.

Will he stay? Will he go?

i hope he goes.
i think they will be happier apart.

Only time will tell what happens next.

Geek Girl

Happy STAR WARS DAY!!!

Yes.

i am a proud
T-shirt wearing geek.

A cute one.

MAY THE 4TH BE WITH YOU. ALWAYS.

Sigh

There are times when i wonder if i have a back bone.

i've had surgery there.
X-rays.
So. Medically, i know it's there.

S is back.
Not that he was gone long.

Why?
Don't know.

Am i good with it?
Don't know.

For how long?
Don't know.

We've had a decent talk.
There needs to be more though.

Will there be?
i just don't know.

Sigh.