Confession

When it ended with Him i was hurt.
Duh.
i have moved passed it.
But still
He comes to mind every now and then.
i Wonder how his nana is fairing.
How he is.
Yes. Who he is with.
Not often.

W/we were very vocal and communicative.
Hundreds of emails.
Stories.
Fantasies.
Teasing.

Those were deleted in December.

Two voice mails remain.

i've listened to them both twice.

His deep, commanding, sexy voice as he talks dirty to me.
Stroking his cock as he tells me how he misses me.
What he wants to do with me.
Using his nickname for me.
Moaning my name when he cums.

Fuck.
i know i need to delete them.
Cut the last reminder.
But i am finding it difficult.

i know there is no way to go back.
i wouldn't want to.

But listening to him jerk off...seeing him naked in bed, watching me, stroking...
sigh
i can't delete it just yet.

although i wish i could.