Jumbled

It's what i've been.
i hate it.

All over the place.
No focus.
No anchor.

A lot of this has to do with S.

i've had my questions and doubts about him.
Maybe i've ignored that inner voice.
But i thought there was something good to be had there.

i was wrong.

i won't say anymore about him.
he doesn't deserve it.

Something interesting has been happening.
Thoughts of Him.
More often.
It was His birthday.
i stopped myself from sending him an email.
Do you know that even if you delete someone from your contacts the address stays there?
Yea, i found that out when i typed his in.

i didn't send it.
The first anniversary of our first meeting is coming up.
i passed the hotel recently.
i had a very physical reaction.
An unwelcome one.
i need to move past.

So.
Where to go from here.
Blogging more.
Going back to collarme.
Maybe fetlife.
The last one i am unsure of.

i know what i need.
i know what i crave.
i just seem to have an issue finding it and holding on.

Shades of Gray

As i have said in the past i am a proud kindle owner.
my KT is doing well, we are used to each other.
i am still saddened by the untimely demise of my K1, but life goes on.

i read everything.

Fiction.
History
Biographies...

You name it...well, almost everything.

i can not get into paranormal, vampire stuff.

Since the kindle came into my life i found erotica.
Fun, orgasm inspiring, mindless entertainment.

i knew about the latest craze, 50 Shades of Gray before it exploded into the mainstream.
i'm not a fan.
i downloaded a sample.
i'm not a fan.

Yes, i'm a fan of kink, D/s, BDSM books.
Look up Cherise Sinclaire, or Maya banks...yum.
So, i am going to pass on this latest craze.

i had an interesting encounter with S last night.
i will put that in another post.
it deserves it's own space.